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The View From A Farr By TRACY FARR Contributing Writer
I’ve been reading up on health-care issues lately and I’ve come to the conclusion that I really don’t have anything to say about it. So, let’s talk about pizza.
Pizza is round. It comes in all different flavors like pepperoni, sausage or veggie supreme. If Cici’s had a Barbecued Goat Pizza on the menu, I’d try it, but they don’t, and that’s that.
Most people can afford pizza. A lot of people can’t afford quality health care.
Pizza is mostly served hot. Sometimes I eat leftover pizza cold for breakfast. Many people think that’s weird. I never invite those people over to my house for pizza.
Pizza has a history dating back to nobody knows when because Pizza History is not taught in schools anymore. Quick research through the Internet tells us that pizza was a poor man’s meal, brought to America by Italian immigrants who turned it into a multi-million dollar industry in 30 minutes or less.
Nobody knows who invented health insurance. Could have been two Italian brothers, Vito and Sal. Vito would suggest you buy insurance; Sal would break your legs if you didn’t.
Sometimes it seems our U.S. Congress was invented so politically-oriented individuals could spend a ton of money getting elected, then go off to Washington, get sick from eating too much pizza, take the afternoon off, visit the House doctor, then head straight to bed until their wittle-bitty tummies feel all better.
The rest of us, when our wittle-bitty tummies feel bad, we suck down whatever’s in our medicine cabinet and hope it doesn’t kill us – because who among us can afford to miss a day of work because of dying frivolously?
But I digress just a wittle bit. Pizza is usually delivered by young people just trying to make ends meet in order to stay in college and get a good-paying job that will keep them from having to deliver pizzas for the rest of their lives.
Health insurance policies are written by not-soyoung people who depend on the rest of us renewing our policies every year so they (you know to whom I speak) can afford their own health insurance.
Americans would jump for joy if Congress afforded us all the right to free pizza. I’m not trying to make a political statement here, but you know what I’m talking about.
In conclusion, I have concluded that only the rich can afford quality health care. The rest of us learn how to splint our own broken bones, and pull our own teeth so we can eat pizza – whether it be delivered, served in a restaurant, or bought frozen at Wal-Mart and cooked for 21 minutes at 400 F.
Come to think of it, I’m getting hungry for a slice or two of pizza. Meet’cha at the pizza parlor. You’re buying.